NT scan behind us

I don't know why but the last couple weeks I've been so anxious for this NT scan. Not nervous but not excited either. Worried I'd have a tech that wouldn't show me or tell me measurements. 

Well today was the scan and everything looks fantastic. Tim made it and the tech was amazing. Beyond amazing. She talked us through everything, discussed all the pictures and measurements she was talking. She answered all my questions and seemed incredible knowledgable. 

Baby looks great. Hb was 169 and baby was kicking and flailing all around. I'm sure I won't have another ultrasound till 20 weeks again so it was good to see the babe. 

Here's a quick pick of little smushy. It seems odd to me that the bead still seems so over rounded and chin tucked in. I don't remember that with the boys. 

6 is weeks and first ultrasound

Today is about 6 weeks based on ovulation.

Yesterday was my first ultrasound to measure me and to date the pregnancy. The tech was super nice and Tim was running late so Owen sat up on the table with me. He was so good too. She showed me the sac. It was measuring right at 6 weeks 2 days (accurate to my last period) and shows me how there is a very very small blob in there. Too small to even measure. No heartbeat is seen.

Tim did make it before the thing was over which made Owens day. But the time I got home I was so nauseous. Now on top of this I am also sick. My throat is killing me, Im exhausted. I was super shaky and light headed when I stood up. By late evening I was EXHAUSTED.

Trying to take the nausea as a good sign and that maybe the baby is just slow growing and Im not as far along as they would expect based on my period. Very possible.

Today they called with the results. They just said that there was a sac that measured at 6 weeks and no fetus or heartbeat were detected. Ugh I feel like I got punched in the gut. My heart just sank. They said they want to do another scan in about 10 days but I have to wait for them to call back to schedule it. Yesterday I still felt hopeful but today I just feel empty as though my chances of it working in my favor are slim to none. It just reminds me all too much of what happened back in 2012 when I had that miscarriage. I didn't document it very well so I really am unsure when I started spotting with that or what any of my HCG levels were.

Im kinda frustrated the dr didn't run HCG betas this time and am half tempted to ask for them now. The waiting game just sucks.

Anatomy Ultrasound

December 9th we did the anatomy scan. It was a little later then usual. My insurance doesn't pay for it till after 22 weeks and Tim was returning from deployment when I would be 24 weeks so we scheduled it for after he got home. So I was 24 weeks 4 days.

Baby is measuring good and I think she said the 48-52%. She checked everything. 

Kidneys - good

Diaphragmatic hernia - none

Heart - all 4 chambers 

Brain - good

Lips - good

Fluid level - good

Hands - good

Feet - good

Chest - good

Umbilical cord - two vessels

So the umbilical cord is the only thing that isn't normal. It is common in babies with a genetic defect but having a clean report from the maternity 21 test "rules that out" so to speak. They said it's not uncommon but is something we will watch more closely. She said it can restrict baby's growth and lead to a smaller baby at birth. At 34 weeks he said they will start regularly watching his growth to see if it becomes an issue. My dr said as long as baby handles contractions ok that we should be able to keep trying for a vaginal birth and that delaying cord clamping is still possible and won't be affected. 

So over all everything looks great and he is measuring perfect. They said from this point on is when his personal characteristics will start to develope. So if he's going to be a large baby it wouldn't be till this point it would start to show. So I suppose we shall see. I am ok with a small guy this time. I just don't want it to be because of the cord limiting his growth. 

They also said he was laying transverse and I have an anterior placenta. Which was suspected because of how little I feel him move. 

I've been researching some about a transverse lie and how to help him into position. So I'm going to try and start that after this trip to Georgia the first of the year. 

NT Scan results

Today was the big NT scan. I was SO nervous this week, couldn't eat this morning, and so nauseous today. But I made it ther ein time, and everything looks great. The NT measured 1.7mm. Baby was so active and squirmed SO much. So sweet I loved it. The HB was 161 bpm and just a joy to watch. Can't wait to finally know what this baby is so I can start using he and she because I hate saying it.

I was so thankful today a friend of mine came with me. I was far too scared of facing negative results alone again. Im very lucky and grateful she could join me.

10w1d Appt/ Ultrasound

Everything looked great. Baby is still measuring 3 days ahead and the heart was beating fast. The settings on the machine were all wonky so we couldn't measure it, but we saw it thats for sure.

In the video you can even see the little doodlebug wiggling all around, it was amazing. I am still so surprised and happy things are going so well. Next appt I believe is my NT scan then I have one at 12 weeks with the OB. Holy cow I can't believe that.

Very happy to be finished with my shots. When we were camping last week I only managed to take 3. Oops. But all is fine. My rear needs some time to get feeling back, but for now I am pretty darn happy.

Cramping

I can't believe it, but I got really nervous about being super crampy the past two days. Both on the front and my lower back. So this morning I called the dr to see if I could get in. They saw me at 1:30 and all is good. Not sure what causing the cramping, but I think its just growing.

Little doodlebug is measuring 9w0d and I am currently 8w4d and the HB was 182. What a little overachiever this one is already. I feel much better leaving for camping knowing everything is going ok.

Here is the video I took. The Adenoma is what he goes to on the right side.

7w1d Appt

Todays appt went great. The dr was a little late but thats ok. We got in, and Dr Q mentioned my pregnancy glow. And really I was glowing. I've had a good feeling about this all and the nausea/ exhaustion just reconfirms it all.

So we did the ultrasound and baby looks great. Yes baby, just one. I was a little sad for .2 seconds but so happy to see my little doodlebug in there moving around. HB was 138 bpm and measuring exactly 7 weeks and 1 day. PERFECT since thats where I am. So happy.


I recorded the ultrasound a little to share with Tim.

Squirmy Baby

Beta #2

Got yesterdays beta results (yesterday) and my number was 127. The nurse said that was a good number. So I have an ultrasound scheduled for August 9th. Im still nervous, but trying to not worry too much.

IVF #4 update

I really suck at blogging lately. So anyway this is an update all in one fell swoop.

June 14 - period started

June 18 - saw RE and started estrogen patches every 3 days. 

June 26 - ultrasound shows a mass in uterus about 34mm

June 29 - MRI 

July 2 - dr office calls to schedule ultrasound for Wednesday. 

July 3 - ultrasound looks good

July 9 - transfer day - planning for 2 embryos

So today is the 8th. Tomorrow is the transfer. Life has been crazy. 

The mass was a huge issue. It was thought to be a fibroid or adenoma. The MRI showed its an adenoma. I don't know much about it other than there is nothing we can do to get rid of it. So we proceed on. Had it been a fibroid it would have needed surgery and 3 months recovery before beginning ivf again. So onward. 

Finding a sitter for tomorrow was tough. It really is terrible not having anyone I can rely on for things like this when I just can not take him with me. But I found someone it's just not someone he knows well. I think he will do ok though. 

So yes on to two more embryos going in. Praying they thaw ok and are good quality. They will be using 5day embryos from Leilands fresh cycle. We lost 4 in the last cycle (2 in thaw) so just praying things go better this time. 

Before the issue with having a mass I wasn't as worried it wouldn't work but more worried about another loss. Every cycle has taken just not always a healthy baby. So now with the mass I'm terrified of it not even taking. So I'm praying hard. 

I'm still very nervous about another possible issue with another loss but I'm trying not to discus too far ahead right now. 

First beta is scheduled for the 17th. 

Stick babies.

U/S picture from 6/26/2013 of Adenoma

15 weeks 5 day ultrasound

Look how freaking cute this little one is, I love how many shots we got. And the HB was at 143 bpm

NT Scan - 12 weeks 2 days

So, we finally had the dreaded but exciting NT scan.

I chose to go back to the same dr this time because he was so nice last time when we found out the bad news with Ruth. This time Tim was able to join me, and we were both really excited to see the baby.

So we arrived by using our new GPS for the first time, I am so in love with that thing already. We parked with no issues, and this time I knew where to go. Except I totally missed the office RIGHT in front of the elevator. Kind of funny. Anyway, so I filled out all the paperwork, they even had my old OB in there, so we had to redo some of it. No biggie, but it was a sign that they remembered I have been there in the past. So the paperwork got done and we just sat and waited or turn.

When we were called back, I was given some more info to fill out, and the nurse explained that I needed to empty my bladder (already did) and to undress from the waist down. She looked as though she was ready to leave, so I nervously requested a sheet. She grabbed one, and explained it again, along with how to lay on the table. I think I can handle that. Anyway, so I get up on the table and we waited for the dr. When he arrived he was talking about something and I mentioned being here for our daughters NT scan. And they both looked so puzzled. They asked if it was this office, which I replied yes, then he asked when, and I said this past February. So he stared at his nurse in a "why did you not know this" sort of lok, and she pulled up my old file. I was a little frustrated, but whatever. So she read his notes off too him.

He started with the abdominal ultrasound and right away I could see the heart beating. First good thing. Then as he got to the profile, I immediately noticed how small the babies fluid was behind the neck. I was smiling SO big at this point. (and I am not one to plaster a smile on). SO he measures it and it was 1.4mm in the first measurement and 1.6mm in the second measurement. Either way, BOTH amazing numbers. Ruth measured 4.55mm on the second scan of hers when we did the CVS. AMAZING news. We could both breath good again.

So the rest of the exam we just watched our little bean. We only heard the HB for a few seconds. The dr moved SO quick this time that we were probably only in there about 5 minutes total (ultrasound time). Either way, this baby appears healthy and that is the best news ever.

On to some pictures

8 Week Ultrasound

Today's ultrasound went perfectly. I am measuring EXACTLY 8w0d. I was measuring a few days behind at the 6 week appointment, so this is really good. The baby is 16.79mm and the HB was 174 BPM. Couldn't be more excited. So I don't think I need to see my RE any more, which is good and sad.

I am going to call tomorrow (if I can remember) to schedule my NT scan and possibly CVS. I have to wait till I am 11-12 weeks, but I need to schedule asap so it works for us.

Also, I asked the RE to make his "guess" on baby gender, and he is on team girl, so he thinks just like us.

Ultrasound update

Ok, so the arm is still short, no forearm and she has two digits in a claw like shape. Workable

My amniotic sac has separated from the uterus, they said it can reattach but if it doesn't it can cause issues with possibly suffocating the umbilical cord. Also, my fluid is pretty low for this stage in pregnancy, and the sac is surrounding the baby more then the fluid is.

The heart, well it is on the right side of the chest and thats all they can see at this point. The reason, the diaphragm never closed completely an the intestines have moved up. There are also issues with the intestines, but I don't remember all of what he said. Now this is the biggest issue. It is causing the lungs to go to the right side. And there is a chance the lungs won't grow there, and if they don't start developing soon, the baby can't live. There is no fix if the lungs don't develop. There is also a variation in the spine it isn't straight, but almost hunched. They aren't sure if this is because of the intestines being forced up into the chest cavity.

And there is something wrong with the kidneys. One is large and they don't know if its because it isn't draining, or if its backing up into the bladder. The left kidney is small and they don't know if it will even function.

I am sure there is something I am missing, but thats about it.

I haven' cried this hard in so long. I am struggling really hard with what to do. They want me back in a MONTH. I think that is insane. Wait till I start feeling her kick just to wait and see. I just can't believe how much is going wrong. And my poor husband. I am here with family, he is deployed completely alone. He even works his 12 hour shift alone.

I am glad my mom could go with me, not for suport, but so she finally realizes how bad it is. I wasn't expecting this. I couldn't have imagined this many problems with my little girl. And no answers as to why. So at this point, I can't really think too much about it, I think I got out my crying today but I have a terrible headache and just pounding. I am calling the OB tomorrow to get in ASAP for some answers. We will see if I can get in.

So anyway, thats where we stand. The reality is if her lungs don't grow, she has no chance at living, you can't overcome that. And if they do, she faces a long road of surgeries, hoping everything is operable.

At this point, I am struggling with the best thing to do for her. I am not sure what to do. My mom stings are being pulled but so are my faith ties. I can in no way handle carrying a baby to term just to watch her pass. Its not fair to me or her. So I am basically a mess here for now.

I just wanted to update you.