The joys of the 2ww are torturous. If you have even gone through trying to conceive you understand the torments of the 2ww. Infertility makes it so much worse. And us doing IVF? EVER worse. How is that possible? Simple. I KNOW there are two embryos inside me. I am closer to pregnant than I have been in all those years of 2ww's. Because I actually know there is a REAL possibility of it. So the other day when I
- got nauseous from drinking mountain dew, I question if I am pregnant.
- got nauseous again from eating, I question if I am pregnant.
- felt a sore boob, I questioned if I am pregnant. (and poked and proded the rest of the night)
- contemplated making a sandwich and a pickle sounded delicious. I question if I am pregnant.
- bake cookies and smell nothing but the walnuts, I question if I am pregnant.
All I do is ponder, guess, and daydream about the possibilities.
Ah, the 2ww. Thankfully it isn't truly 2 weeks to wait. From transfer to my first HCG Beta its only 8 days. I do think I just MIGHT have to POAS on Sunday, and that would be 10 DPO or 5dp5dt.
Showing posts with label two week wait. Show all posts
Showing posts with label two week wait. Show all posts
5dp5dt
Took a test this morning and it was negative again. I kept going between thinking I could see the faintest of lines then back to nothing. No symptoms all day long making me think again that it didn't work - then at night slight nausea and minimal cramping. Who knows. I will test again tomorrow and see.
This time around I am taking progesterone and delestrogen until 12 weeks if we get pregnant. I never needed estrogen before so I don't know why I need that extra one. My bum is so incredibly sore right now. I am covered in knots and bruises. It hurts to sit down or to have my phone in my back pocket. The thought of doing my nightly shots literally brings me to tears and its sad.
This time around I am taking progesterone and delestrogen until 12 weeks if we get pregnant. I never needed estrogen before so I don't know why I need that extra one. My bum is so incredibly sore right now. I am covered in knots and bruises. It hurts to sit down or to have my phone in my back pocket. The thought of doing my nightly shots literally brings me to tears and its sad.
4dp5dt
Today is 4 days past a 5 day transfer. I took both a cheapo test and an FRER test this morning and both were unmistakingly negative. Last night I had slight carmping as I did the day before (usually associated with slight constipation) but then this morning nothing. This evening I have had a few moments of some cramping similar to my period starting. I recall this when I was pregnant with Leiland and it lasted a long time. So maybe thats hopeful?
Today I had this sad feeling come over me that it just didn't work. I know its SO freaking early but it wasn't because of a lack of symptoms. I can't pinpoint where the feeling came from.
As we entered into this cycle I barely entertained the idea that it might not work. I just figured our chances were really good because the two other times were a success the first time each. Then when they told us the quality of the embryos (blastocytes) was good and just ok, I was a little nervous. And right now I just don't have a strong feeling.
We shall see. I will test again tomorrow. I will inspect the readout of the test so closely. I can always see where the line SHOULD be, just its not always there. Then I will wait a little longer. Test again Thursday, and Friday. Just to see.
I got my first bfp with Leiland at 7dp3dt (10 dpo) and tomorrow I will be the same 10dpo. We shall see.
Today I had this sad feeling come over me that it just didn't work. I know its SO freaking early but it wasn't because of a lack of symptoms. I can't pinpoint where the feeling came from.
As we entered into this cycle I barely entertained the idea that it might not work. I just figured our chances were really good because the two other times were a success the first time each. Then when they told us the quality of the embryos (blastocytes) was good and just ok, I was a little nervous. And right now I just don't have a strong feeling.
We shall see. I will test again tomorrow. I will inspect the readout of the test so closely. I can always see where the line SHOULD be, just its not always there. Then I will wait a little longer. Test again Thursday, and Friday. Just to see.
I got my first bfp with Leiland at 7dp3dt (10 dpo) and tomorrow I will be the same 10dpo. We shall see.
The Two-Week Wait Activity List:The Two-Week Wait Activity List: 14 Things to Do When 14 Days Seem Like Forever by Lynn Steen
The Two-Week Wait Activity List:
14 Things to Do When 14 Days Seem Like Forever
by Lynn Steen
As any woman who is trying to get pregnant can tell you, the two weeks from ovulation to the date of your next period are pure torture. You promise yourself you’ll wait it out calmly, you'll distract yourself with other activities and you won't even THINK about taking a pregnancy test until you're at least a day overdue. Then something happens -- your breasts start hurting in a slightly different way than they did before, you get a little bit nauseous, you have some spotting. Or nothing happens, but you find yourself waking up wishing you could go to sleep again so that it would be another day closer to knowing. You can’t think, you can’t sleep, you can't work. You start taking HPTs days before they can possibly be meaningful. You are deep in the abyss of THE TWO-WEEK WAIT!
In my opinion, it's no use advising women to stop obsessing. Instead, here's a list of productive ways to obsess. Please note, however, that there is a limit that each woman must define for herself, between indulging in some baby daydreaming and going overboard. I've included some examples below.
1. Take a walk around your neighborhood and figure out what will be the best route for strolls with the baby. Find areas with nice sidewalks and easy curbs. Go ahead and daydream. But do NOT buy a stroller for the dog.
2. Clean out your closet to make room for the maternity stuff you'll be buying soon. Try on anything you haven't worn for six months. Yes, if you wish, you may put a pillow in your undies to see what will work as maternity wear. But taking a picture of yourself like that is going too far.
3. Start a journal. Write down everything you're feeling. It will be a great opening chapter for your child's baby book. If you can't put your feelings into words, draw something, try to create a symbol that expresses the frustration you're feeling. Don't get that symbol tattooed on your ankle.
4. Plant a hope garden. Or a hope rosebush. Or a hope citrus tree. You want to grow something inside of you— start by growing something outside of you. Nurture it. Feed it. Give it water. Talk to it. But do not send birth announcements.
5. Get better at photography. Learn how to work all the buttons and settings on your camera. Experiment! If you have a digital camera, get all the downloading and editing stuff worked out. You'll be prepared once your baby arrives and will be able to get some great shots and get them emailed to your family before the child's graduation. Do not take photos of your cervical mucous, even if Toni Weschler begs you.
6. Make an appeal to the committee meeting going on inside you. Sperm, egg, uterus, corpus luteum, progesterone are all in there either making a baby or not. Treat them like any other unruly committee you’ve ever addressed. Yes that's right, go ahead and talk to them. Put your hands on your stomach and tell them how much you respect them. Make your best argument in favor of a baby, and then let them decide, it's out of your hands. Addressing the commit- tee within earshot of normal people is not recommended.
7. Paint your toenails. Imagine how difficult this will be when you're pregnant. Go shopping for the perfect pink and blue nail polish in preparation for a celebration pedicure. Alternate colors on the day you find out you're pregnant, then use a single color when you find out the baby's sex. Don't paint a cycle-day countdown on your big toes.
8. Make a cup of herbal tea. It’s a nice ritual: boiling the water, adding the tea leaves, pouring into a nice china cup, adding some milk or sugar, sipping peacefully. Ahhhh. There's nothing that a nice cup of tea won't help. Yeah, right. Well, it does kill a little bit of time.
9. Swim laps. Think about the sperm and how they need to swim to your egg. Imagine that you are a sperm, the end of the pool is the egg, then GO, GO, GO! Don't wear a tail or anything. Just imagine it quietly.
10. Make lists. List who you will tell when you get pregnant and in what order. List all the chores you need to get done. List all the healthy activities you intend to do this week. List all the girl and boy names you like. Lists are helpful for all sorts of things, most of all for passing time.
11. Choreograph a fertility dance. Choose whatever music speaks to your soul and make up a dance routine as a prayer to the universe for the growth of an embryo. Move your hips, rotate your belly, let your arms flow—but close the curtains.
12. Prepare a folic acid feast. Cream of broccoli soup appetizer, followed by spinach lasagna, enriched whole-grain garlic bread, and frozen orange juice sorbet for dessert. Dedicate the meal to your baby-to-be. Just don't set a high chair at the table.
13. Delegate the burden of the two-week wait. Clearly someone has to worry constantly during this time, but does it have to be you? Divide the days up among your best friends and closest family members. On their assigned day, they are required to think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant. At the end of the day they have to call or send you email describing how agonizing it was. Also they have to report if they had any "symptom," such as, sore breasts, excessive urination, nausea, bleeding, fatigue. You'll be surprised how many people, male and female, have early pregnancy symptoms if they just look for them.
14. Write a list of 14 things to do during your own Two Week Wait and post it to the Baby Boards! For me, this activity killed nearly 3 hours. Now what? I’ve still got 9 days to go—aaaarrgrhhhh.
14 Things to Do When 14 Days Seem Like Forever
by Lynn Steen
As any woman who is trying to get pregnant can tell you, the two weeks from ovulation to the date of your next period are pure torture. You promise yourself you’ll wait it out calmly, you'll distract yourself with other activities and you won't even THINK about taking a pregnancy test until you're at least a day overdue. Then something happens -- your breasts start hurting in a slightly different way than they did before, you get a little bit nauseous, you have some spotting. Or nothing happens, but you find yourself waking up wishing you could go to sleep again so that it would be another day closer to knowing. You can’t think, you can’t sleep, you can't work. You start taking HPTs days before they can possibly be meaningful. You are deep in the abyss of THE TWO-WEEK WAIT!
In my opinion, it's no use advising women to stop obsessing. Instead, here's a list of productive ways to obsess. Please note, however, that there is a limit that each woman must define for herself, between indulging in some baby daydreaming and going overboard. I've included some examples below.
1. Take a walk around your neighborhood and figure out what will be the best route for strolls with the baby. Find areas with nice sidewalks and easy curbs. Go ahead and daydream. But do NOT buy a stroller for the dog.
2. Clean out your closet to make room for the maternity stuff you'll be buying soon. Try on anything you haven't worn for six months. Yes, if you wish, you may put a pillow in your undies to see what will work as maternity wear. But taking a picture of yourself like that is going too far.
3. Start a journal. Write down everything you're feeling. It will be a great opening chapter for your child's baby book. If you can't put your feelings into words, draw something, try to create a symbol that expresses the frustration you're feeling. Don't get that symbol tattooed on your ankle.
4. Plant a hope garden. Or a hope rosebush. Or a hope citrus tree. You want to grow something inside of you— start by growing something outside of you. Nurture it. Feed it. Give it water. Talk to it. But do not send birth announcements.
5. Get better at photography. Learn how to work all the buttons and settings on your camera. Experiment! If you have a digital camera, get all the downloading and editing stuff worked out. You'll be prepared once your baby arrives and will be able to get some great shots and get them emailed to your family before the child's graduation. Do not take photos of your cervical mucous, even if Toni Weschler begs you.
6. Make an appeal to the committee meeting going on inside you. Sperm, egg, uterus, corpus luteum, progesterone are all in there either making a baby or not. Treat them like any other unruly committee you’ve ever addressed. Yes that's right, go ahead and talk to them. Put your hands on your stomach and tell them how much you respect them. Make your best argument in favor of a baby, and then let them decide, it's out of your hands. Addressing the commit- tee within earshot of normal people is not recommended.
7. Paint your toenails. Imagine how difficult this will be when you're pregnant. Go shopping for the perfect pink and blue nail polish in preparation for a celebration pedicure. Alternate colors on the day you find out you're pregnant, then use a single color when you find out the baby's sex. Don't paint a cycle-day countdown on your big toes.
8. Make a cup of herbal tea. It’s a nice ritual: boiling the water, adding the tea leaves, pouring into a nice china cup, adding some milk or sugar, sipping peacefully. Ahhhh. There's nothing that a nice cup of tea won't help. Yeah, right. Well, it does kill a little bit of time.
9. Swim laps. Think about the sperm and how they need to swim to your egg. Imagine that you are a sperm, the end of the pool is the egg, then GO, GO, GO! Don't wear a tail or anything. Just imagine it quietly.
10. Make lists. List who you will tell when you get pregnant and in what order. List all the chores you need to get done. List all the healthy activities you intend to do this week. List all the girl and boy names you like. Lists are helpful for all sorts of things, most of all for passing time.
11. Choreograph a fertility dance. Choose whatever music speaks to your soul and make up a dance routine as a prayer to the universe for the growth of an embryo. Move your hips, rotate your belly, let your arms flow—but close the curtains.
12. Prepare a folic acid feast. Cream of broccoli soup appetizer, followed by spinach lasagna, enriched whole-grain garlic bread, and frozen orange juice sorbet for dessert. Dedicate the meal to your baby-to-be. Just don't set a high chair at the table.
13. Delegate the burden of the two-week wait. Clearly someone has to worry constantly during this time, but does it have to be you? Divide the days up among your best friends and closest family members. On their assigned day, they are required to think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant. At the end of the day they have to call or send you email describing how agonizing it was. Also they have to report if they had any "symptom," such as, sore breasts, excessive urination, nausea, bleeding, fatigue. You'll be surprised how many people, male and female, have early pregnancy symptoms if they just look for them.
14. Write a list of 14 things to do during your own Two Week Wait and post it to the Baby Boards! For me, this activity killed nearly 3 hours. Now what? I’ve still got 9 days to go—aaaarrgrhhhh.
