Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts

Beta results and Symptom chceck

Last week I went in for my beta draw on Wednesday just after 8am. The lab slip say stat - so because labcorp doesn't offer stat - they had to run the blood draw through UAB instead. I didn't realize this because no one explained it. Anyway I wainted all day and got no results. Thankfully I'd already had the test done that morning that showed the must desired two lines. Never heard back from the fertility clinic so on Friday morning I just reprinted the lab slip and went to do another draw. The woman who drew the blood said it would be done in about an hour. Again a day of waiting with no results. I contacted teh clinic and they said they didn't have them. So I called the lab here and she said they were faxed over and that it went through. She couldn't give me the results over the phone but if the nurse or dr called in she could relay the results to them. So I passed that info along to the clinic and they called to get me the results.


So Wednesday - November 26th Beta HCG was 45 (8dp5dt) (13 dpo)

Friday - November 28th Beta HCG was 136 (10dp5dt) (15dpo?)



Even though my tests were not any different in darkness - it indeed did more than double at the 48 hour mark. 

I reach out to the clinic again asking if I need to do any more bloodwork or if they are good with just that. No response. They did however tell me to schedule an ultrasound for December 9th - which I chose the 10th because it works better for my schedule. Again the person I deal with forgets that I am not a local patient and was trying to schedule me to come in there. I don't understand why she can't remember that I am not a local patient. I also requested that she send in another script for the progesterone because I was almost out. I told her in the email I had no refills left - she tells me to contact the pharmacy to get refills. I had to contact her again and explain I am out of refills and that I need a new prescription sent in. I don't understand why she is so confused. So anyway she sent in another the way I wanted it - to get two vials at a time so I am not having to call in every week for more. 


Shots are going ok - not as smooth as when we first began but still ok. I've only had one big bruise on the shot sight. They do hurt a bit more when I poke the needle through the skin. Its just tender and so lumpy right now. Its also incredibly itchy where I inject as well as down the outside of my thigh. When I do the injection it feels like its running down my leg for a bit. I can live with the itchiness though. A few times the injection sight has bled quite a bit when I withdrawal the needle - not a big deal though. I have tried the bandaids they sent but its really hard to do by myself. I also get a nasty itchy red spot from the bandaids so I try to avoid them when I can. 


This morning I decided to go get my blood drawn myself again just so I can see how the numbers are doing. I will go again Friday just to see how they are doubling at that 48 hour mark as well. This time however I chose to just go through labcorp and skip the stat order on the slip so that I can check the numbers myself from home. 


Lastly lets do a symptom check. I am 4w4d based on lmp and 4w6d based on an IVF due date calculator. So close enough. I like the lmp one so that my new week lands on a Saturday each week making it easier to calculate. Anyway. 

So no real symptoms as of yet. I am using the bathroom a lot - but I don't know if its more that normal yet. When I first returned from California from the transfer I was really bloated for about a week, but I feel like thats subsided. I've had a couple instances of heartburn and nausea - but not enough that I could say for sure that its from the pregnancy. I did gag brushing my teeth this morning which was a first. I was tired when I woke up, but when am I not? I thought my boobs would be hurting some by now but I haven't noticed anything which was one of the reasons I wanted more bloodwork. Overall I don't feel pregnant even a little bit yet. 


I'm still praying for these little embies and praying hard. I know its Gods plan whatever happens. I will say I have more peace over this pregnancy than I have in any precious pregnancy. Its honestly really strange. I remember with Leiland how deep down I felt like everything was ok - and pregnancy wise had no concerns or issues - but I still was so scared and disconnected for so long. The fear was so present in his pregnancy. Then with Owen there were some things we had to keep an eye on at the end - and again I didn't really feel any bonding with him till towards then end. This time there is just complete peace over it all. It just feels so different. 

Testing day

Today is the day I get my first bloodwork done. We did the transfer on Tuesday the 18th and today is Wednesday the 26th. So I believe that means today is 8 days past a 5 day transfer (8dp5dt). There was no way I was waiting until Friday to possibly get a number though. Learned that with the first ivf cycle and I’ve always just tested myself since. 

So there’s a second line - we are indeed pregnant. I’m really excited to hear what the number is and to test again and know how it climbs. I tried comparing the line darkness to the boys cycles but they weren’t comparable as far as the dates I took them in relation to the transfer. 



IVF cycle 5

Long story short - we did it again. 

Last year over Christmas Tim and I talked about trying ivf one more time. We talked about timing and whatnot. We planned for October but wound up pushing to November because of a conflict next summer for Leiland. 

Here we are and it was transfer day today. 

So to rewind a bit. Two cycles ago in September it was the weirdest cycle ever. I had no clots, no cramps, no need for Motrin, and no heating pad. I only bled for 3ish days then some light spotting. Bizarre. Then on 9/25 I have a hysterscopy procedure with my Alabama OB. All went well and all the dr could really say was my “tubes were tubing”. So that happened early in my cycle and so then come October I had nothing. Not even spotting. Again beyond weird. 

Now at this point I’ve noticed my normal mid cycle aches and pains have eased up some. Not gone but definitely less. 

So moving forward. Dr. Q was all good to move forward. My period was due to start on my birthday but after the previous two cycles who really knows when things will happen. If I start on my birthday that puts ovulation/ transfer right at Thanksgiving week. So we had a tentative transfer date two days prior to Thanksgiving. 

Well per usual my period did its own thing and began on November 1st. Now I was already slotted to begin my Lupron injections starting November 1st and so that’s what we did. I was also instructed to go to Labcorp as soon as I could once I started. And of course I started on a Saturday and not a one lab was open until Monday. So again we have a wrench in the plans. I go Monday for the labs and it’s no biggie. 

So because my period was early that means we are slotted for a transfer the week prior to Thanksgiving - the 18-21st. 

So Tim and I made the plans to have me fly out with Ellie for the week. We flew in on Sunday and go home next Sunday. Transfer was today - Tuesday. There were a handful of hiccups but we got there and transferred two 5 day blasts. It was a little uncomfortable but bearable. I had a little bleeding and have been cramping ever since. After we left the transfer Ellie and I went to dinner at black angus and then watched a movie at the hotel room. 

Praying for a healthy little bean to finish off our family. 

This is go #5. 
Of 4 cycles we have transferred 8 embryos that resulted in two healthy boys. 

I’m very nervous but also know it’s in Gods hands. If it’s his plan then I know it will all work out. 




Post Transfer

Well today went great. I have been up since 2am but I am starting to not be in as much pain. We had to leave at 7 this morning to be at the dr's in time. The "instructions" say to drink water 30 minutes prior to arriving, but I started when we first got in the car.
When we were taken back to Dr. Q's office, we got some awesome news. ALL 15 embryos were still doing good. I don't remember them all, but 10 Grade A 8-cell embryos, 1 9 cell embryo, and the rest were all 7 cell embryos. Thats AMAZING compared to last time and the Dr was so excited. There is a good chance that in the future frozen embryo transfer are all we will need to do to complete our family.
So after the meeting with him we were taken to change. I put a gown on and the nurse brought Tim show covers and we both got hairnets. It was so amusing and we had fun with it. Then they took me in to see if my bladder was full enough. The ultrasound machine made me think back because it showed my gestation at what I was with the last pregnancy. I already had to pee so I figured we were good, but my uterus is pretty tilted, so they needed me to drink even more. It hurt pretty bad having to pee but whatever we can move on. The embryologist came in and verified who I was and how many embryos we were transferring. She even remembered to get me a picture of them.

So the nurse got me more water and then checked and I was good. The Dr came in and got started. The speculum hurt a LOT less then last time and he was able to put the catheter in without much issue. We got to watch on the screen but it was pretty hard to see because apparently my uterus lining was REALLY thick. Thats a good thing though. So the embryologist brought in the little embies, Dr Q put them in, and she went back to check and make sure both made it out good.

So I have two sweet embryos tucked away inside me, and I am SO ready to take that pregnancy test in just 8 short days.
Tim and I keep looking at our little embryos on the computer screen, I love that its my embryos we are looking at this time. DH thinks that one looks more like 9 cells but Dr Q said they were putting in two 8-cell embryos. I told Tim that from what I have seen, when the embryos are ahead (like the 9-cell) sometimes they end up with identical twins. Scary yet amazing.

Also, they froze some embryos today and are letting the rest go to day 5. I'd rather weed out any weaker ones now then when we are trying again, that's just me though.


Emotionally I am doing ok. Bed rest is so hard because Tim and I have to agree what to watch on TV, and I think I expect him to do more for me because of it, but I think he wanted to relax. So I did more today then I planned, but I am not worried about it. He did indeed make me dinner and popcorn which was nice, and watched a 4 hour movie of mine on TV. Bonus: we both took a long nap on the couch when we first got home.
So, that was our transfer. I am so positive that in a week we will get a BFP and in 8 months we will be bringing home a little baby to call our own.

Todays Transfer (pre transfer)

Since I am awake so flipping early today, I figure I will post about the "pre-transfer" stuff.

First, WHEN this works, we will be due accordingly.

Singleton Due Date: May 04, 2011
Twins By Ave Gestation: April 12, 2011
Triplets By Ave Gestation: March 16, 2011
Quads By Ave Gestation: March 08, 2011

How freaking exciting is that. May 4th. Just before our 6th wedding Anniversary, just in time for mothers day and fathers day. And he/ she will be old enough to enjoy Christmas some. By the next summer, that will be fun to see as well.

Emotionally:
I am so ready. Yesterday it hit me and I decided I didn't want to put in 3 embryos that I was more settled on just two. I really want to try for a single baby. I want to enjoy my pregnancy, and my newborn. I want to get the hang of nursing and try out cloth diapering. All this is easier with just one. I want to settle into parenthood not be thrown in the waters and feel like I am struggling to stay afloat.

I can't believe we are here either. It came so quickly too. I feel like we just decided to do this again. It all came fast and felt so right. I think its also go quicker because we know what to expect this time. Even better though, we leave Tuesday for a week long vacation to visit Tim's family, an I think it will be great to keep m mind of things, and snuggle the new baby over there.

Physically:
I am SO sore. It hurts to turn too far to the side and the instant I drink water I have to pee. Holding in anything just hurts so bad. My stomach has also been pretty hard. I feel like I am one day in on a p90x abs workout after not moving for a year. But I can get past it.

Medications:
I began progesterone on Wednesday, an Estrogen patch on Thursday, Medrol one of those days, and am still taking my doxycyclin. The first progesterone shot was the worst, but still not too bad. The second I didn't feel, and the third was good till it stung 1/2 way through. We have noticed however that I only bleed when the shots are on the right side of my bum. Curious to see how I will do these when DH is gone on deployment. But, I should be done with them by mid October in time to go see family in November.

The one side effect that is so frustrating is (my suspicion) from the Medrol. EVERY-TIME I take it, I end up with terrible heartburn. Yesterday I ate so many tums I had to stop because I was going to exceed the max dose. So I am going to ask the dr what that one is for an how needed it is. Because of the heartburn, I end up with a nauseated feeling as well. Now don't get me wrong, when we get pregnant, I will take the morning sickness and any other symptoms with a badge of honor, but the embryos aren't even inside me yet.

Lastly, I asked the Dr last time about getting a picture of the embryos this time. We didn't get one last time and I was so sad, so I will get to post babies first pictures hopefully this afternoon.

Ok wish us luck and say lots of prayers.

The Two-Week Wait Activity List:The Two-Week Wait Activity List: 14 Things to Do When 14 Days Seem Like Forever by Lynn Steen

The Two-Week Wait Activity List:
14 Things to Do When 14 Days Seem Like Forever
by Lynn Steen



As any woman who is trying to get pregnant can tell you, the two weeks from ovulation to the date of your next period are pure torture. You promise yourself you’ll wait it out calmly, you'll distract yourself with other activities and you won't even THINK about taking a pregnancy test until you're at least a day overdue. Then something happens -- your breasts start hurting in a slightly different way than they did before, you get a little bit nauseous, you have some spotting. Or nothing happens, but you find yourself waking up wishing you could go to sleep again so that it would be another day closer to knowing. You can’t think, you can’t sleep, you can't work. You start taking HPTs days before they can possibly be meaningful. You are deep in the abyss of THE TWO-WEEK WAIT!

In my opinion, it's no use advising women to stop obsessing. Instead, here's a list of productive ways to obsess. Please note, however, that there is a limit that each woman must define for herself, between indulging in some baby daydreaming and going overboard. I've included some examples below.

1. Take a walk around your neighborhood and figure out what will be the best route for strolls with the baby. Find areas with nice sidewalks and easy curbs. Go ahead and daydream. But do NOT buy a stroller for the dog.

2. Clean out your closet to make room for the maternity stuff you'll be buying soon. Try on anything you haven't worn for six months. Yes, if you wish, you may put a pillow in your undies to see what will work as maternity wear. But taking a picture of yourself like that is going too far.

3. Start a journal. Write down everything you're feeling. It will be a great opening chapter for your child's baby book. If you can't put your feelings into words, draw something, try to create a symbol that expresses the frustration you're feeling. Don't get that symbol tattooed on your ankle.

4. Plant a hope garden. Or a hope rosebush. Or a hope citrus tree. You want to grow something inside of you— start by growing something outside of you. Nurture it. Feed it. Give it water. Talk to it. But do not send birth announcements.

5. Get better at photography. Learn how to work all the buttons and settings on your camera. Experiment! If you have a digital camera, get all the downloading and editing stuff worked out. You'll be prepared once your baby arrives and will be able to get some great shots and get them emailed to your family before the child's graduation. Do not take photos of your cervical mucous, even if Toni Weschler begs you.

6. Make an appeal to the committee meeting going on inside you. Sperm, egg, uterus, corpus luteum, progesterone are all in there either making a baby or not. Treat them like any other unruly committee you’ve ever addressed. Yes that's right, go ahead and talk to them. Put your hands on your stomach and tell them how much you respect them. Make your best argument in favor of a baby, and then let them decide, it's out of your hands. Addressing the commit- tee within earshot of normal people is not recommended.

7. Paint your toenails. Imagine how difficult this will be when you're pregnant. Go shopping for the perfect pink and blue nail polish in preparation for a celebration pedicure. Alternate colors on the day you find out you're pregnant, then use a single color when you find out the baby's sex. Don't paint a cycle-day countdown on your big toes.

8. Make a cup of herbal tea. It’s a nice ritual: boiling the water, adding the tea leaves, pouring into a nice china cup, adding some milk or sugar, sipping peacefully. Ahhhh. There's nothing that a nice cup of tea won't help. Yeah, right. Well, it does kill a little bit of time.

9. Swim laps. Think about the sperm and how they need to swim to your egg. Imagine that you are a sperm, the end of the pool is the egg, then GO, GO, GO! Don't wear a tail or anything. Just imagine it quietly.

10. Make lists. List who you will tell when you get pregnant and in what order. List all the chores you need to get done. List all the healthy activities you intend to do this week. List all the girl and boy names you like. Lists are helpful for all sorts of things, most of all for passing time.

11. Choreograph a fertility dance. Choose whatever music speaks to your soul and make up a dance routine as a prayer to the universe for the growth of an embryo. Move your hips, rotate your belly, let your arms flow—but close the curtains.

12. Prepare a folic acid feast. Cream of broccoli soup appetizer, followed by spinach lasagna, enriched whole-grain garlic bread, and frozen orange juice sorbet for dessert. Dedicate the meal to your baby-to-be. Just don't set a high chair at the table.

13. Delegate the burden of the two-week wait. Clearly someone has to worry constantly during this time, but does it have to be you? Divide the days up among your best friends and closest family members. On their assigned day, they are required to think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant. At the end of the day they have to call or send you email describing how agonizing it was. Also they have to report if they had any "symptom," such as, sore breasts, excessive urination, nausea, bleeding, fatigue. You'll be surprised how many people, male and female, have early pregnancy symptoms if they just look for them.

14. Write a list of 14 things to do during your own Two Week Wait and post it to the Baby Boards! For me, this activity killed nearly 3 hours. Now what? I’ve still got 9 days to go—aaaarrgrhhhh.

HPT Blues

The HPT Blues

My temp is still up
It's day twenty-eight
Could it be, could it be
That my period is late?

I count on my fingers
I look at my chart
Could I be pregnant
Without doing an ART?

I shouldn't, I wouldn't
I won't do a test
It's a waste of money
Just give it a rest.

I say to myself
Put it out of your mind
Wait til tomorrow
See what you find.

I don't dare hope
I don't dare dream
If I don't pee on a stick
I think I may scream!

101 Ways to share the news

I found this online and I like it.

1. Decorate your husband’s vehicle in pink and blue ribbons and bows. Write on the windows with shoe polish…Guess What Daddy??

2. Buy a baby rattle, baby booties, baby bottle, a bib and a small teddy bear. Tie them together with ribbon and hang them over the rearview mirror in your husband’s vehicle.

3. Hang a “Baby On Board” sign in your husband’s window.

4. Put a baby doll in the front seat of your husband’s vehicle, seat belt the baby in with a card of Congratulations.

5. Have a Parking Sign Made and put it in your driveway. “Pregnant Women Only” or “Dads Only”.

6. Rent a Stork yard sign – have them write on it “Welcome Home Daddy”

7. Post signs on the side of the road – on the route your husband takes home from work. Attach two balloons to the top. Write, Congratulations (name) you are going to be a Daddy.

8. Announce your pregnancy on a “Billboard” that is on your husbands way to work.

9. While your husband is taking a shower, go in and write on the mirror, “We Are Having A Baby” and a bunch of little hearts with your lipstick.

10. If you are not sure how your husband will handle the news and he needs reading material in the bathroom, staple a note or card in the magazine, Congratulations! You are going to be a Daddy around (Your Due Date). At least he will be in the right place.

11. Have a Bath towel embroidered saying “Daddy-To-Be” and hang it on the towel rack.

12. Buy a baby bottle, put your pregnancy test inside with a letter from you or a letter from the baby. Run a bubble bath for your husband and put the bottle in the tub before he gets in.

13. Put Baby Shampoo and Baby Bath in your Shower or by the bathtub.

14. Buy Pre-Natal Vitamins and put them by the kitchen sink or next to sink in your bathroom.

15. If your doctor writes you a prescription for prenatal vitamins, give the prescription to your husband and ask him to get it filled for you.

16. Wear a t-shirt that says, “Baby on Board” or “Baby due in the month that you are expecting”.

17. Buy small baby toys and put them under your husband’s pillow and under the covers on his side of the bed. If he asks what’s going on, tell him he is going to get used to toys being around the house.

18. Put a baby diaper in your husband’s underwear drawer. Write on the diaper,”You are going to be a Daddy”.

19. Have a scavenger hunt in your home. Put a note where your husband can find items such as a wedding picture, anything that you both enjoy and eventually lead him to a pregnancy test, baby book, baby bottle ect.

20. Sit down with crayons and coloring books and just scribble…when asked what you are doing, reply with…I need to practice, we are having a baby.

21. Decorate a bedroom in you home with balloons, streamers and a Banner that says, “Future Baby’s Room” include your due date.

22. Buy a “Shhh..Baby Sleeping” Door Hanger and put it on the future baby room.

23. Play a game of scrabble and do your best to create all words pertaining to baby.

24. Play a hand of cards with your husband, be sure to write on them “Congratulations, You Win!..then write Baby’s Due Date”.

25. With a washable marker, write on your belly, “Hi Daddy”.

26. Wrap a ribbon around your belly area and put a bow on.

27. Buy a bag of Pink and Blue balloons and helium tank, blow them all up and have the pregnancy test wrapped around a ribbon from a balloon.

28. Put pink and blue balloons filled with helium in a large box with a parenting book. Wrap it up and give it as a gift to dad.

29. Put your Positive Pregnancy Test in a Card that says Congratulations.

30. Have a T-Shirt made, “Daddy-To-Be”.

31. Buy a glass jar and have them engrave “Daddy-To-Be” with your due date on it. Fill it with pink and blue M&M’s.

32. Buy a Key Chain that says “Daddy” on it and put it on your husband’s key chain.

33. Buy a necklace charm that says “Dad” on it.

34. Have a Bracelet engraved, on the top write “To Daddy” on the Bottom “See you Soon”

35. Buy a paperweight for your husband’s desk that has a poem about Dads. Have a co-worker give it to him or leave it on his desk.

36. Buy 9 roses or how ever many months until your due day and attach a congratulations card to the vase.

37. Make a mini scrap book from the time that you met all the way to you getting pregnant. On the last page put a picture of a stork with your due date.

38. Have a Custom coffee cup made, “Daddy-To-Be” and exchange it for his favorite coffee cup.

39. If your husband is a cook, have an apron made that says, “Cooking for 3”.

40. Create a Dinner Menu that lists Drinks: Baby Formula, Baby Apple Juice, Breast Milk, Appetizers: baby peas, baby carrots, baby green beans, baby squash, Main Course: Baby Back Ribs, Baby turkey, Baby Turkey Dessert: Applesauce, Teething biscuits ect and ask him what he wants for dinner.

41. Next time your husband asks you to get him a drink, fill a baby bottle up with his favorite beverage and hand it to him.

42. Bake your husband a cake and write “Congratulations Daddy” or “Daddy-To-Be”

43. Order a cake or large cookie announcing the news and have your husband go pick it up.

44. Make your husband breakfast and also serve cinnamon rolls or buns. Tell him that you have a bun in the oven.

45. Put a new label over the milk carton (Breast Milk – For Baby Only- Due Date)

46. Order pizza for delivery and have them write “Daddy”, with your husband’s favorite topping.

47. Take your spouse to his favorite restaurant and have them put a little flag in his drink or in his dessert saying, “Congratulations! You are going to be a Daddy”

48. Take your husband to lunch or dinner and ask the hostess to bring a high chair to the table. When your husband asks what it is for: share the great news.

49. Make reservations at a restaurant for “3”, when your husband asks who else is joining you, just say they won’t be here for 9 months.

50. Prearrange with a restaurant, give them little plastic booties, bottles ect and have them put one in his drink, one on the appetizer plate, one on his meal plate ect. See if he can figure it out.

51. Go out to dinner and order more then you usually do and burst out with, “I am eating for two”.

52. Have fortune cookies made that say, “We are having a baby”.

53. Take your husband to the same place that he proposed to you and get down on one knee and hand him a bracelet box that has your pregnancy test enclosed.

54. Buy Baby Bibs that say, “I Love Daddy”, “I Love Grandma” or “I Love Grandpa” wrap them up and give it as a gift.

55. Buy Baby Booties, wrap them up and give it to them as gift with a card saying Congratulations.

56. Buy a Photo Frame that says, “#1 Daddy”, “#1 Grandma and Grandpa” or “#1 Aunt and Uncle”.

57. Have a picture taken where you are holding your belly, at the bottom of the picture write “Expecting a Miracle” and “Due Date”. Frame it and give it as a gift.

58. Go to a department store that has a “Baby Registry”, with your husband and as soon as you walk in, ask him if he wants to sign up for the baby registry today because you only have so much time before the baby arrives.

59. Go to the store and visit the baby department. Say to him, “Do you think we will be having a girl or boy in “The month you are due”?

60. Have a sky writing company, write in the sky, You are going to be a Daddy.

61. If your husband listens to a specific radio station every day, call them to see if they can announce the great news for you.

62. If your husband reads the local newspaper daily, put an ad in the newspaper announcing your pregnancy.

63. Contact the local movie theater and have them arrange an the announcement on the screen before the Movie begins.

64. Create your own Movie Ticket with Dad’s Name, Expected due date ect. Ask him to go to the movies and give him the ticket.

65. Plan a movie night and have the movies centered around pregnancy.

66. If you know a police officer, have him stop by the house telling your husband he is under arrest because of an unpaid ticket – have the officer give his a ticket saying “Congratulations”

67. This needs to be pre-arranged but you can go to a comedy club and have some one ask for all the men under the age of 35 (example) to stand up, Have them ask all single men to sit down, Have them ask anyone whos’ name is in not “Dave” (example) to sit down. Have them say, who ever has a wife whos name is “your name” to remain standing and everyone else sit down. And the announcer can announce the news.

68. If you attend church on a regular basis, share the news with others and ask them to walk up to your husband and say “Congratulations” ONLY! Have your preacher come up and Congratulate him on being a Dad-To-Be.

69. Have family and friends get together for a surprise party, when your husband arrives..have everyone say “Surprise you are going to be a Daddy”

70. Around Christmas Time, put a gift under the tree addressed to “Daddy-To-Be” Enclose a parenting book for dad.

71. At Christmas – Hang Stockings over the fireplace and have one just for “Baby”

72. At Christmas time. When you sign the cards that you send out to family and friends, put your name, your husbands name and TBA in “the month you are due”.

73. If it is Christmas time, buy an ornament that says new mommy, new daddy, Parent-To-Be or Baby’s 1st Christmas and put it on the tree.

74. At Christmas Time or Easter, go visit Santa or the Easter Bunny with your husband. Tell the photographer to have Santa or the Easter Bunny ask your husband what he thinks that baby will want next year for their 1st Christmas or 1st Easter.

75. Around Easter time: Hide Eggs around your home, in one: Write a note saying, “You are going to be a big brother, sister or new daddy”

76. Around Valentines Day, Buy a Large Hershey Kiss and remove the tag, stick in your own tag reading “Congratulations Daddy”.

77. If you want to surprise your mother around her birthday or Mother’s Day – Order a cake that says Happy Birthday Grandma or Happy Mother’s Day Grandma.

78. Buy a “Grandma’s Brag Book” to announce the news to the grandparents.

79. Have a puzzle made announcing your pregnancy.

80. Have a 12 month calendar made with picture of you and your husband and family. The month that you are expecting, have a picture of a stork and the baby’s due date.

81. When you have your first sonogram, get copies and put them in greeting cards to announce your news to family and friends.

82. Create a family tree and add an area for the soon to be baby and put TBA or due in “what ever month the baby is due”.

83. Send out “Save The Date” Postcards – Have the date the baby is due.

84. Send out an invitation to join you at a family gathering, on the inside write your due date, the hospital, and ask for RSVP’s.

85. If you husband plays golf, write on his golf balls “Daddy” before he goes out for the day of golf.

86. Hire a singing telegram to announce the news.

87. Get a hotel room and have them put flowers, and baby items on the bed, along with a crib in the room.

88. Print out a candy wrapper that announces the due date, the parents, any brothers and sisters ect.

89. Create a website site or online journal and have the details listed.

90. Take pink and blue balloons with one helium balloon saying “I Love You” or “Congratulations” to your husband at work.

91. Have flowers (pink and blue carnations) sent to your husbands work with a note saying “Congratulations, you are going to be a Daddy” or “Congratulations, the test was positive”

92. Depending where your husband works, if they have an intercom, ask them to announce the news.

93. If you already have a child, buy them a t-shirt that says, “I’m going to be a Big Brother” or “I’m a Big Sister”.

94. If you have a pet, have a t-shirt made saying “Woof! Woof!..You Are Going To Be A Daddy”

95. Change the screensaver on your computer to say “Congratulations Daddy”.

96. If you know a banker at your bank, ask them for their help. Have your husband go to the bank with you to discuss your account/s. Have the banker ask your husband if he wants to set up a college fund now or if he would like to wait until the baby arrives.

97. If you have a regular tax advisor, when he sits down and goes over the paperwork with both of you, have him tell your husband that next year he will have a “NEW” tax deduction.

98. Have a friend call claiming they are from the IRS and ask him how many deductions he plans on claiming this year.

99. Buy a Piggy bank that says college fund on it! Leave a note that you only have 18 years and how ever many months left in your pregnancy to save for your new baby’s college fund.

100. Write a letter from the baby and give it to your husband.

101. Buy a Star in your baby’s name. Baby (last name). You will receive a certificate, a bear or a keepsake package.

"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?"

"What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?"

"Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me."

These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?"

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?"

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility. "

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down."

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known."

While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

Author UNknown__

Infertility Alphabet

Contributed by Lola Anderson

Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7

Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9

Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with Thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2

Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. James 4;8

Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice. Psalm 55:17

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life John 3:16

Godliness with contentment is great gain. I Timothy 6:6

He that abideth in me, and I in Him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without Me ye can do nothing. John 15:5

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust. Psalm 31:1

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven. Luke 6:37

Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. Jude 1:21

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have; for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:2

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen Hebrews 11:1

O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good; for His mercy endureth forever. Psalm 106:1

Pray without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:17

Quicken us, and we will call upon thy name. Psalm 80:18

Rejoice in every good thing which the Lord thy God hath given unto thee... Deuteronomy 26:11

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth Colossians 3:2

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live; and let me not be ashamed of my hope. Psalm 119:116

Verily, verily, I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in My name, He will give it you. John 16:23

With God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it... Psalm 127:1

Ye shall seek Me, and find Me when ye shall search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13

The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion... Psalm 128:5

Scriptural references are from the King James version of the Bible

The Infertile Patient's Prayer and Infertility "Defined"

Lord, Give me Strength...

To keep my cool when another period starts

To keep my chin up when a co-worker announces her pregnancy

To have a good relationship with my friend in spite of her ability to conceive easily and not be jealous of her

To endure my sister-in-law's comments about toilet training

To keep from crying when I see children begging on the roads

To forgive my doctor when he keeps me waiting for 2 hours for a consultation - and then can't remember my name

To make the right decision about treatment

To maintain a good relation ship with my husband in spite of all this.

It’s helpful to remember the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr. " God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Infertility Is...

Watching your husband playing with your friend's baby and wishing you could give him one of his own

Telling nurses to please take blood from your right arm because the veins in your left arm are all gone because of all the IVs you've had

Avoiding people you haven't seen for a long time because you don't want to hear the question, "Do you have any kids yet ?"

Feeling very left out when your friends start comparing their pregnancy or childbirth experiences

Feeling like the whole town is pregnant except for you

Getting tired of people always expecting you to do things because " You don't have any kids to worry about "

Waking up in the middle of the night and wishing you could hear your baby crying

Wishing you could give your parents grandchildren

Wanting to fall apart if one other person says, "Why don't you adopt ?" Easy, right ?

Sometimes avoiding friends who are pregnant or with newborns because you just can't handle the situation at that moment.

Wait

The Wait Poem

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
you'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

The Journey

The journey from infertility to family,
someone once said,
is like taking a train ride;
Never knowing whether
you'll reach your desired destination.

There are plenty of stops along the ride.
And each of the passengers
makes it's own decision
when its time to get off.

Some never need to take the train.
Others ride it for a lifetime.
But whether you reach your destination or not,
pay attention to the journey.
If you will,
as painful as it is,
it may reward you in unexpected ways.

Wouldn't you know it

I have been struggling a little with how bad everything still hurts. I don't remember this from last time one big. This morning I woke up at 2am to pee because when I don't pee my insides start throbbing. Well I looked back at the last IVF cycle (post here) and sure enough, its the same as last time. Funny how your memory missed things like that in terms of storing for the long haul.

I also wanted to go look at my transfer day entry. I didn't remember really explaining the process, and last night I tried to remember how it went, but my memory failed me yet again. But I was right, and I didn't post anything great. So this time I will try to post more about how the day goes. I am so excited right now and haven't been back to sleep this morning. I think I will just take a nap today, I mean they do want you on bed rest.

So Ill be back to write again when I get home later today.

So torn

How many embryos to transfer? This has been the 3 day long debockle and its all I can think about. I know Tim will support me no matter what, but I don't want to take on more then I can handle because I am scared. It is between 2 and 3 embryos that we will transfer. There are a few things to consider, and I am just torn. I was up most the night unable to sleep because its all I could think about.

Tim thinks we should put two back again, as we did last time. They will both likely be high quality. If for some reason they weren't as good of quality, then we would definitely go for 3.

Last night I was looking at the CDC statistics for my age and that they will be fresh non donor eggs and sperm. This is what I learned as far as statistics go.

A Single baby will result and become a live birth about 61% of the time
Twins will result and become live births about 28% of the time
Triplets will result and become live births 1.8% of the time.

To me, that's pretty unlikely, but still a chance. As Tim reminded me, all Ruth's issues were so incredible rare and yet we ended up with her and her issues. That would be my BIGGEST fear at this point. I am terrified of putting two back and having a repeat of the last time. But if two eggs make two babies, I will be shocked and if three eggs make two babies I would be so happy, even though still surprised.

I'm not sure. I think we will be on the fence till I am laying on that cold metal procedure tale, legs spread yet again before we spout out that number that will determine our fate as a family. Last time I chose 2 even though I wanted 3 and was disappointed to have gotten pregnant and still have no baby. I regret not putting 3 back, I might have a baby right now had we put 3 back in.

Fear is my main roadblock to making a decision I am confident with. I don't want to decide out of fear, however I am struggling to decide rationally.

Egg Retrieval

Today was the big day. My estrogen results were good yesterday at 3709 and so that means we are good to transfer this cycle. We had our retrieval scheduled for 11am today but they were running a little late and many people we frazzled. No worries though. The anesthesiologist did my IV and put some numbing stuff in my vein first, so that went great. I was able to walk in and was out of it pretty quick. Then I woke up right as they were about to transfer me from the surgery bed to the one that takes me into the recovery area. The dr said the procedure only takes about 15 minutes so that was good. I was finally up and aware and Tim came in and said 18. I wasn't that aware yet and didn't know what he was talking about. 18 egg, thats how many they received.

While I was still coming to, Tim and Dr Q talked for a minute. Dr Q told him we have to do a day 3 transfer because he wants me to have downtime before we fly to Georgia, so the embies will be going back in on Saturday at 9am. They also discussed how many we want to put back in. I was set on 3, but the Dr wants me to do 2. I know it makes more sense and I am ok with that, but I am scared of the what if's.
What if we get another case like Ruth, and thats the only baby in there?
What if it just doesn't work?

So I really still want to put 3 in, but Tim and Dr Q are worried if all 3 take. So I need to really think about it right now, but I am still leaning towards 3.

So that is that. Dr Q will call tomorrow with the fertilization report and let us know how they look. They way he came off to Tim was that he expects a much better result. He thinks they are better quality eggs this time and that we will have more to choose from.

Estrogen levels

First off, the nurse said it was ok that I missed that one shot. Phew, I was so worried. I stayed up so tired last night to take my shot and was able to sleep till just after 9am this morning. The shot went well and I was able to give it to myself. It didn't even hurt.

I also called the dr office this morning to get my Estrogen levels. Like I said, anything over 5000 and they won't do the transfer because of OHSS, well my level was 3709, YEAH!!!!! Its on now.

Just need to decide how many embies we want to transfer back in. Its between 3-4, not sure though.

Retrieval date set

Wednesday is the day. I am trying my hardest to stay up late to take m HCG shot tonight at midnight. We go in on Wednesday morning for the egg retrieval. They took my blood today to check my Estrogen. Anything over 5000 and they will retrieve the eggs but freeze them and hold off a couple months before transferring them. This is because of OHSS and the Dr seemed very worried today about it. I still have 22 eggs so no new growths since Friday, but they are pretty big he said. I looked and last time my estrogen was 3923. So in the morning I will call and hopefully get the new number.

I am really excited and nervous all at once. I can't believe how fast this is going, but its a good thing, I am not complaining.

I am really mad at myself tonight. A little back story. When I wasin on Friday the Dr was trying to decide how much medicine to distribute to make everything work. Well I was limited on meds and so he was trying to make it all fit. Anyway, the nurse wrote it all down as he changed it at least 4 times. But the computer wasn't working so they were supposed to email me my new calendar later. I missed the email at 3:30ish and didn't see it till about 7pm. The problem was, the calendar did not reflect what we discussed and I didn't have enough meds to meet what was on there. So I called in but they were closed. I was sent to an answering service where they connected me with Dr Q. He advised me to go ahead with what we discussed. So I did, and I just didn't look back at the new calendar that was wrong. Problem. I was supposed to take 1/2 a dose of the Ganerillex in my arm last night, and I didn't. That is what keeps me from ovulating too early. I am a little worried now. I have a ton of cramping but there is nothing I can do at this point. I am just praying for the best right now. I tried to reply to the email, but no one responded because it was the end of the day.

So, in just 37 hours I will be in surgery to take my eggs out. I am praying so hard things work well, we have numerous embryos to choose from, we get pregnant with a healthy baby or two, and that infertility can become a thing from our past.

Oh, and when I was there today, I mentioned to Dr Q that although we only did 2 embies last time, I wanted to put more in this time. He laughed and said he wouldn't put 8 in. It made me laugh so hard. I don' want 8, hell no. I told him I just wanted 3-4 and he said ok. It was just so funny.

What a sting

My shots have begun. I took the first on on Friday and was surprised at how nervous I was. Earlier in the day I had my ultrasound appointment to make sure everything looked good. There was a resident dr there and she started the u/s and found my right ovary. My left was much harder to see, but Dr. Q found it and said everything looks good to start. So I took my shot, then again on Saturday. Last nights shot was much more painful and that took me by surprise. I have never had an issue with my belly shots, but this particular one stung pretty bad. So tonight we do it again, no biggie. I have another u/s tomorrow to see how they are growing. Dr Q thinks we can get a large number again like we did last time. I am so excited still. And it feels like its all moving so slow, but the reality is as soon as the month is over it will be so quick. The day to day however feels so slow in passing time. I think our little family visiting vacation will be the perfect thing to keep me going in the dreaded 2-week-wait.

Im Giddy

I have never been so excited to say my period has started. I called the Dr and the nurse asked when it started and my response was "within the past 5 minutes".

So Im waiting for them to call me back, I may have to go in today to get an exam, but I hope they order my meds so everything can get started. I am SO excited right now.