Not like others

My whole life I felt like I stood out, I wasn't like other kids. I was a very emotional little kid, at the time I was one of few from divorced parents (at least in the circle of people I knew). I also struggled a lot with the boundaries of tom boy and being a girl. Well now at the age of 25, I long for a child which many people my age are just starting to think about. And unlike many other infertile women, I LONG to be around babies, I look at every one I pass. I notice and even linger into a stare when I see a pregnant woman. I dream about the family I will one day have and I want it. My day dreams are so real to me I wish I could just capture the images I see. And unlike many other infertile women, I wander the baby section of every store as if I am shopping for my future children. I note which car seat I would choose, the bottles I prefer, and I play dress up in my mind. I can't help it, I think its the only way I handle not having a child yet. And I research, oh how I like to learn. It used to be about pregnancy, but now, I am beyond that and into safety items, parenting topics, schedules, and anything you could imagine.

So it stands true, still at 25 years old, I am not typical, nor am I normal. I am ok with that though.