Overwhelmed

I am completely overwhelmed right now. Tomorrow is the ultrasound to see a heartbeat and I am terrified. Tim even mentioned being a bit nervous last night too. And I know we have reason to be nervous.

Some good things about this pregnancy so far... My betas started out higher then last time. And I am not bleeding like I was last time (keeping fingers crossed). Last time I bled at 5weeks 1 day, and 3 days. On the 5w3d I had some small clots. I bled more again at 9weeks 3 days, and at 12 weeks. I am thankful I haven't been bleeding this time, but I am still terrified.

I know when we see a strong hb tomorrow it will ease me some, but there won't be that settled fear until 12 weeks when we have the NT scan, and again when I can feel this baby kick. Ruth never kicked, there was no fluid, so hopefully this baby will kick early.