It surprises me

I have to say, it really surprises me that having my milk coming in isn't upsetting me more. Yes I think of little Ruth every time I leak or have a sore spot. But the reality is, she would have never been able to feed from me because of all her issues. At this point, it just makes me think so much about my one day child who I can't wait to nurse.

My milk came in

So my boobs have definitely been very sore, and yesterday I noticed the outsides were hard as rocks, but still no milk. Well I woke up and went to the bathroom to find I have my milk now. And it leaked through m bra and my shirt. Very weird. I have to go get a sports bra and some pads for my milk because I don't have time to wash my bra before I leave for California.

Very interesting.

The story of Ruth's birth

So, on April 18, 2009 Tim and I headed to the hospital in Royal Oak, MI and arrived a little after 7. I had been cramping for about a month, but this was more then normal. The Friday before, we had been to the OB, and he checked my cervix and found that I was starting to dilate.

We filled out some paperwork at the hospital and were put in a room. It took about an hour before the dr was in, but the nurses came and went for more paperwork and some family history. I gowned up and the dr checked me and confirmed I was dilating. The dr that was there was an intern who I met the Wednesday prior. She was a great dr and very compassionate.

They had informed me that because of how early I was, it could take 3-4 days for everything to progress and happen. That scared the crap out of me. Soon after getting there, they gave me an IV, told me no more food, and gave me some pain medication (Nubain) through the IV. This medication kicked in within about a minute. It makes you really dizzy. For me I just couldn't focus so I had to close my eyes. And it made me tired so I slept most of the day.

The nurses came to check on me every 45 minutes or so. While I was on the medication I slept so much and only woke to go to the bathroom. Tim was so great to help me move around. Because of the meds, I was also very uneasy on my feet, so he was great to help me walk. The nurse kept asking how the pain was, but at first I had none and after a few hours it was just mild cramping. Tim went to get food while I slept and he was able to get breakfast and lunch at the hospital. Around 4, I told the nurse my pain was a little too much to bare and I asked for more of the Nubain. They were able to order it and get it in by about 4:30. The dr (resident and my OB) checked and said I was 2cm dilated. I was so worried that after 8 hours I hadn't moved very much.

So I was given more Nubain, but after an hour the pain was much worse. It wasn't helping me anymore. So the nurse ordered some Morphine. That should have worked right away. They put 1/2 in the IV and 1/2 IM in my thigh. It did NOTHING. At this point I was starting to get really nauseous. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. The nurse kept asking if I wanted an epidural, but I was terrified that if I was going to be there a couple days, I didn't want to be stuck in bed. So I said no, again.

The nurse said she had one more option in terms of IV meds. It took at least 30 minutes to set it all up, but it was a pump that they hooked up, and I could press a button it administer more. This started to work after about 3 pumps on my part and one or two from the nurse. Now all day I had to pee a TON from all the IV fluids. I had also had the urge to poop, but thank you pregnancy, it wasn't working. So I felt the need to poop and decided to try again. Tim walked me to the bathroom and I peed a ton but when I tried to poop, I could feel Ruth moving. I told the nurse and she wanted me right back in the bed. So I was escorted back to the bed. No one believed I was ready to push because just before when they checked I was only 2cm dilated.

So the OB set me on the bed and wanted to check me again. Then he told me to give him a push. Since I felt it was time, I gave it all my might and I pushed. He quickly had me stop to get everything ready. Then he told me I could push again and out she came. She was still inside the amniotic sac. My sac never burst and my water didn't break. I assume its because there was almost no water inside. After she was out I instantly felt better. I didn't think I was going to throw up anymore, thank goodness.

So the nurses and one of the dr's took Ruth to the little bed thing to look at her. She was born alive, but wasn't breathing. Her heart beat was really slow but she was alive. The nurse left me push when I felt the urge and I was just passing blog clots, no tissue. The dr was very worried about me bleeding bad and needing a D&E. But after just a few pushes I past the placenta with no issues. I had a few clots and some bleeding but there was no tissue and not much cramping. They gave me some pitocin in my IV to help my uterus cramp to make sure everything came out.

After a little bit they let me hold Ruth. Tim had already gone over to look at her, but I was just sitting there. They brought her over and I got to hold her. She was SO tiny, but really it was all just a shock. They took little footprints of her that were just so sweet. The nurse took some pictures, but then Tim gave me my camera so I could take a bunch. They came out SO precious.

After about an hour, they came in to check on Ruth, she had passed. I think I knew it because I noticed her skin started looking different. It almost looked like it was drooping from her face. They let me hold her again, and this is when I took pictures of her outside her dress. I made sure to take pictures of her arm that didn't grow, and tried to capture the bulge in her chest. She has so many issues, but she was still perfect.

That night we were able to go home, I was so pleased I didn't have to spend the night. We got so lucky that there were no complications. So I got to sleep in my own bed that night.