This morning I got a positive pregnancy test and went to get my blood work at 1:30. The results were positive with my HCG level being 8. 5 is considered positive so its positive just really low. I am honestly worried. Praying my heart out right now.


Took a test this morning and it was negative again. I kept going between thinking I could see the faintest of lines then back to nothing. No symptoms all day long making me think again that it didn't work - then at night slight nausea and minimal cramping. Who knows. I will test again tomorrow and see.

This time around I am taking progesterone and delestrogen until 12 weeks if we get pregnant. I never needed estrogen before so I don't know why I need that extra one. My bum is so incredibly sore right now. I am covered in knots and bruises. It hurts to sit down or to have my phone in my back pocket. The thought of doing my nightly shots literally brings me to tears and its sad.


Today is 4 days past a 5 day transfer. I took both a cheapo test and an FRER test this morning and both were unmistakingly negative. Last night I had slight carmping as I did the day before (usually associated with slight constipation) but then this morning nothing. This evening I have had a few moments of some cramping similar to my period starting. I recall this when I was pregnant with Leiland and it lasted a long time. So maybe thats hopeful?

Today I had this sad feeling come over me that it just didn't work. I know its SO freaking early but it wasn't because of a lack of symptoms. I can't pinpoint where the feeling came from.

As we entered into this cycle I barely entertained the idea that it might not work. I just figured our chances were really good because the two other times were a success the first time each. Then when they told us the quality of the embryos (blastocytes) was good and just ok, I was a little nervous. And right now I just don't have a strong feeling.

We shall see. I will test again tomorrow. I will inspect the readout of the test so closely. I can always see where the line SHOULD be, just its not always there. Then I will wait a little longer. Test again Thursday, and Friday. Just to see.

I got my first bfp with Leiland at 7dp3dt (10 dpo) and tomorrow I will be the same 10dpo. We shall see.

17 Month Update

Holy cow my bow is 17 months already. The past 5 months have FLOWN by. And he is just getting so big and losing all his babyness :(

He weighs in at 22 pounds even, wears a size 5 shoes, 2t or 24m shirts and mostly 18m bottoms. Some are getting small so we may be up to 24m in some brands this winter. Sleeping 12ish hours at night, and 2-2 hour naps a day typically. We are transitioning to 1 longer nap (about 3 hours) but he isn't quite ready just yet. But very close. I say by Christmas we will be down to 1.

He is still such a happy and easy going little man. FULL of snuggles: constantly gives kisses and hugs out of nowhere, and just a complete joy. He is just starting to do things to get people to laugh. Usually strangers. He is shy when he is tired or not feeling well but otherwise he will talk to anyone.

He is saying more words. More then I think I even know that he knows. He uses these pretty regularily now though - some are repeats from a previous list)
Mom (all day long)
Yes (so cute)
Dog (better annunciation)
Score (hilarious)
Lunch (doesn't sound right but I do know what he is saying when he says it)
No - all the time for no reason

He is getting a little better about sharing, if he is in a good mood. But it just depends who is around. His milk is NOT something he will let another child have though - he freaks out.

There is a ton going on with our move right now but he is taking it with stride. He doesn't even seem to notice everything is disappearing. He did enjoy the weekend outside while we loaded the POD though.

His favorite toy right now is his new shopping cart ($3 used) and a little baby doll he puts inside it. He also puts his drink in it a lot. I'll try for a picture. He likes his trike too but needs help still. With shoes on I can help him peddle and he can reach. I think by spring he will be riding it all on his own.

He is still doing great in his crib. No climbing and he barely even stands in there. When he wakes I go get him while he is tossing and fussing and sometimes he just lays and cries - waiting for me. He LVOES being greeted by the dogs. He is happiest when the dogs come in the room with me to get him. I am in no rush to put him in a toddler bed since he does so well in his crib. He does toss around a LOT at night and in naps, so I think he needs all 4 sides. He sleeps right up against the rails for comfort so I think he will fall out too easily in a toddler or twin bed. We will see though. He sleeps with his glow seahorse, a blankie, and usually 3-4 more stuffed animals. He also slept with a pillow while we were in San Diego and he seemed to like it, so after the move he will get a pillow too.

Potty training isn't started yet but I am laying some ground work for it. I have a frog potty thats been out since just after a year. He will sit on it and say pee and poo. He likes to come sit while I go potty. I have it more so he isn't scared for the most part. I now can tell when he is pooping and twice now he has told me before he pooped (within 5 minutes). I know he isn't ready yet but I can see progress to getting there. Maybe we will start around 2 years or so. Maybe 2 1/2 - depending on him.

We currently have 11 or 12 teeth. The last molar I am unsure about. We have been teething pretty hard this week so it may have come through but he is not allowing me to even look. THe other 3 are through though and I can see a good about of them now.

Leiland is still a good eater but his quantity has drastically gone down. He loves grapes, string cheese, black olives, chicken, Panera mac and cheese (no other), peanut butter, pretzels, and hot dogs.

So thats about it for 17 months.


So, I wait. Its not as hard as I expected but we just put embryos in 3 days ago. Its crazy its been 3 days already. This weekend was so busy packing.

Yesterday  I was nauseous a couple time but not bad. Then when I gave myself my shot I got SUPER light headed and nauseous and I had to crouch to the ground because I thought I would otherwise fall over.

Today very slight nausea. TERRIBLE heartburn at one point. Now my left nipple is tingling. Weird. Sorry if thats TMI

I took a cheap dollar store test this morning. I showed Tim and we both agree it was negative. But I SWEAR I could see the faintest of lines. I tried to take a picture but you can't see it. So its considered negative.

I am currently 3dp5dt (3 days past a 5 day transfer)

I will take another cheapo test in the morning, just to see. Then Wednesday I will use a real test.

IVF Update

So IVF has been going as planned. I did forget to start one medication on time, and I accidentally took one shot a day early. Hoping it doesn't make a huge difference though.

We did our transfer on Friday the 12th. We were able to put 2 embryos in again. 1 was good quality and the other ok. The 2 we didn't put in weren't growing or were slow/ behind where they should be.

I go in for bloodwork on the 19th to see if it worked.

This weekend I SHOULD be on bed rest, light activity and that isn't happening. I SHOULD be pushing it but I am not. We have to pack and move and that makes it impossible to sit around all weekend. I think its ok though.

So because Friday the embryos were 5 days (past ovulation) that puts me at 7 DPO right now. I am considering taking a test on Wednesday just to see if it shows up.

Tim and I have both made a guess and think it will work and it will be 1 boy.

We haven't really told everyone yet. My sister knows and a few friends. If it works I won't tell everyone until Christmas just for the fun of it.

Poor baby

Leiland has not liked sleeping in my bed since he was about 4-5 months old. I wish he slept better with me but its never been the case. 1 time when camping this summer but did great and just put his arms around my neck and went to sleep. Last week in San Diego there was 1 night he didn't sleep well so I brought him to bed, he fell back to sleep - so I put him back in the pack n play. He later fussed again so I brought him back to bed and he slept till 930. It was some great sleep. Then 3 nights ago he wasn't sleeping well so I brought him to bed at midnight and he slept great, just wanted to be face to face and arms around my neck. Yesterday same thing. He woke at 4:40 so in my bed he came and he slept till 7:30 and woke so happy. Last night he was up at midnight and I got him yet again (I don't mind one bit) and he really struggled to sleep but he is up there still at 7:30 passed out with TIm. I actually love it. He has never slept better with me and I love the snuggles. 

I KNOW this is because he molars are really bothering him right now. The last 3-4 days have been misery.

Zoo trip

While Tim has been working in San Diego we decided to come down to San Diego and squeeze in one more zoo/ wild animal park trip.

Saturday we first went to get Leland's first haircut - SO cute. Then after that we walked around the zoo till closing. Sunday we did the wild animal park.

So I don't forget the funny things he said...

While watching an elephant walk through the dirt and kick up a bunch of dust, Leiland yelled "Hot!!! HOT!!! HOT!!!" Tim asked why and I explained how he realized steam is a sign things are hot, so he thought it was steam.

We walked up to the Rhinos who were eating right against the fence line, and Leiland says "Snack" - close but much larger.

As for all the animal names - EVERYTHING is a dog. Who knew. Kinda makes me smile.

First nickname

Leiland has his first nickname. His little friend Tyler calls him "WeeOow"  its just so cute.