So torn

How many embryos to transfer? This has been the 3 day long debockle and its all I can think about. I know Tim will support me no matter what, but I don't want to take on more then I can handle because I am scared. It is between 2 and 3 embryos that we will transfer. There are a few things to consider, and I am just torn. I was up most the night unable to sleep because its all I could think about.

Tim thinks we should put two back again, as we did last time. They will both likely be high quality. If for some reason they weren't as good of quality, then we would definitely go for 3.

Last night I was looking at the CDC statistics for my age and that they will be fresh non donor eggs and sperm. This is what I learned as far as statistics go.

A Single baby will result and become a live birth about 61% of the time
Twins will result and become live births about 28% of the time
Triplets will result and become live births 1.8% of the time.

To me, that's pretty unlikely, but still a chance. As Tim reminded me, all Ruth's issues were so incredible rare and yet we ended up with her and her issues. That would be my BIGGEST fear at this point. I am terrified of putting two back and having a repeat of the last time. But if two eggs make two babies, I will be shocked and if three eggs make two babies I would be so happy, even though still surprised.

I'm not sure. I think we will be on the fence till I am laying on that cold metal procedure tale, legs spread yet again before we spout out that number that will determine our fate as a family. Last time I chose 2 even though I wanted 3 and was disappointed to have gotten pregnant and still have no baby. I regret not putting 3 back, I might have a baby right now had we put 3 back in.

Fear is my main roadblock to making a decision I am confident with. I don't want to decide out of fear, however I am struggling to decide rationally.


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